"What's Love Got to do with it -Tina Turner"
Not only did Tina Turner have phenomenal legs, but she had a point. What is the purpose of being vulnerable, only to risk rejection and heartbreak?
heartbreak who needs it?
Even though heartbreak is one of the hardest things to endure and overcome, it is important that we continue to trust and connect, even after a crushing loss of love and invested time and energy. Let me explain... The purpose of continuing to engage in intimate connections is because we heal IN relationships, not isolated alone. Think of each intimate relationship as your leveling up of attachment work. Now intimate relationships are not those simply defined by physicality or chemistry; but shared emotional connection, the ability to have difficult conversations, and the ability to feel supported and contained with another human being.
purpose in relationships
It doesn't matter if you married your high school sweetheart or are in your 60s on your third marriage. It is all purposeful learning and helpful in the future of your intimate connections. If you are currently IN a relationship; the relationship you started with IS not the same relationship that you are in now. And if you are outside of a relationship, you are not going to enter into another relationship that mimics the exact same one you once left. It is impossible, because YOU are not the same and experience breeds learning and learning cannot be undone (unless organically in the brain with disease, and even then it is lost or simply inaccessible, not undone).
What this all means is that our journey in relationships is one that has cumulative, growth potential the more we engage and trust. We heal old traumas through love, we share grief and loss when we connect with others vulnerably, and we change the internal physiology of ourselves with each intimate relationship. This breeds hope for every single human in existence.
Note to tina
This means, dear Tina, that love has everything to do with it...and a broken heart is one that has experienced love and intimacy and trust with another human, and therefore has leveled up on their internal journey. A leveling that years of therapy cannot teach or achieve. So my message to you is to love hard, make mistakes, endure hardships and revel in the growth that you are making along the way. Because you have no idea the love that awaits on the other side of that pain. It could be better than you ever imagined...but one thing is for certain...it will be different and so will you.